Last LOTF

What could I have done. Piggy’s gone now and what could I have done. Dead I say. Not just Piggy but simon too and what does this rotten island have to show for it!? I fought. I fought so hard and then I ran. Jack wasn’t better than me. No one was better than the chief and that’s exactly what I am. I’m not a coward. Jack’s a coward for leaving. They don’t understand we’re all trying to get back. OR at least should be trying to get back. Simon. Piggy. I couldn’t look. Their all batty. Too far gone to understand and see what I see. I’ve gotten away from the raging madness that took their lives. Safety. I barely notice my body slowly spiraling into a rack of sobs and hysterical laughter. Safety. So hysterical to the boy surrounded by savages. Oh how are they the most dangerous thing on this island?

I got up at some time. I would never really be ready to face it all so I got up. For now I was safe. No for now I wasn’t being hunted for my skin by a bunch of boys, well a bunch of murderous savages. Each step I took was one that Piggy or Simon could’ve taken. I can’t deal with that. It must’ve been an accident anyway. No kid would kill nor would a group kill. Then things became a blur. I remember our first home on the island, speaking to samneric and then waking up. Everything after that changed my life in ways i’ll not soon forget. Betrayal. THey tried to burn me alive. People I’d once known to be sane and whole have given me up. So I run. I run for my life but not only for my life but for the sanity on this island. I ran and then I hid, running and hiding till I escaped the fire on the beach. That’s when a Naval officer showed up. “Hullo” he said and I replied back the words feeling foreign almost wrong coming out of my mouth. The english language from a savage. We were rescued, not safe, but rescued for all that it mattered. Piggy and Simon were gone so in truth we weren’t rescued. We could never be rescued from the memories of life and death that stained us like the savagery we knew all too well.

Chapter #4 blog

Chapter 4

So close yet so far away

          It's my third week on the island. Or is it my first? Everyday i'm here seems like an eternity. For all I know a second on the island is a year out in the real world. The real world. That's the main reason I'm really working on the huts. I need something to distract from the fact that I really don't know anything about anything in this messed up place. Things seem to have slowed down. Day after day the island slips into a rhythm. It feels like something meant for a place without humans. Every morning this small little world of our own is so peaceful. So free from the scars that we cause and the ones that we will come to cause. It makes you forget about reality until it all comes crashing back in with the tide. Soon after it's midday and there are odd things out at sea. Then the evening stalks in, tenacious on the last rays of sunlight. That's what completely destroys my control night after night When I was a littleun my parents took care of me. That's what parents do. No matter what they were there. At night and whenever I needed them. Every night the cries of the littleuns reach me. As the nights have melted away the cries come, sometimes I listen for them in anticipation of the pain accompanying each and every second. During the day I might have some control but at night I'm powerless. I try not to care but I feel like i'm the only one that hears them.


          Piggy's saying something about rescue. The fact that I'm not really paying attention brings a smile to my face and I mock him. I play with the guy a lot and he never seems to understand the game or understand how to go against me. He doesn't get it so I go over for a swim. Piggy's mention of rescue makes the water feel different, heavier and distant. That's when I saw the smoke just on the horizon. I was out of the pool and my heart beat like gunfire. Then Piggy asked if we had any smoke. Ralph had finally calmed down to his level headed self when fear crept into his mind. He was off towards the fire or what it was supposed to be. I was at the end of the scar when I realized I'd need piggy's specs if the fire was out. Should I run on or go get the specs. In my terror I began to run on. Then I was upon the fire and my worst fears were confirmed. The fire was completely out and disregarded. "Come back. Come back" I screamed at a sky clear of smoke. With the hate of a crushed future I prowled the beach with my eyes and soon I found them. A procession of boys so happy not realizing the sadness of their situation. As soon as Jack reached them the anger contained itself and he managed to get out what Jack had done. He told jack of the ship, all the while feeling barely managing to hide his pain. As I watched and participated in the aftermath of a great failure Jack hurt piggy. Huh piggy's pain compared to what we lost with the ship. As the full weight of what had happened crashed onto my shoulders I couldn't move, I could only watch and Jack abused piggy and broke his specs. It was utterly insane that I was the only one that truly understood besides piggy or simon. everyone else was caught up in the stupid Pig and that's exactly what it was. STUPID! I could barely say anything but light the fire and then I called for a meeting. What else could I do with a group of insane boys that only cared about their meat?

Chapter #3

Ralph
Chapter #3

2 sides of the same coin





          All day and what for? All day me and Simon have been working our arses off while everybody does what? Absolutely nothing. I mean, Simon's a great guy and he's really stepped up but what the hell is wrong. When we call meeting I see guys that can't hold back their raw energy and need to help. Then after a few minutes they're gone. Before I'd have had some doubts about wether or not it was the island but now I know it is and it's the group. They couldn't do anything to save their own arses while the kids with some kinda sense do the saving and the slaving. Then there's Jack. He's the leader of the hunters, right. Hunting is pursuing anything living with the purpose of trapping or killing it. Has he really done any of that. He has so much determination. All day every day he's hunting for that pig. No matter what it's always on his mind one way or the other and his determination is bonkers but... But i'm so freaking mad about everything that's happened. No organized group work, no food, no shelters. Thats what we need and Jack can't do the one thing that is his actual job. His hunters maintain the fire but his job is to get food and we still have none.

          I love him but I hate him and I don't really know how i feel about him... Can we ever move forward from this?

Chapter 2 Ralph's thoughts:

          Things started with the conch. As soon as I blew a small congregation began to form on our little platform of brush. As soon as things start to die down and jack and peggy are her I don't really know what to say but the words seem to come to me. I tell them everything that we discovered about the place we're confined on. First I tell them about the island and what we saw. Then I tell them about the fact that there are no parents. I need to explain whats up with this place so we can at least begin to make it ours.What would my dad want me to do? Well I have to do the things an adult would do. I decided to make rules. We need a way to keep order and to have everybody working together or at least living together. We need food. Jack knows that best of all he's the one who's gonna get our food, and in order to keep everyone together we'll use that conch to have meetings. Whoever has it can talk and only I can interrupt them. We gotta have some consequences for breaking that rule, but piggy has the conch and everyone's listenin' so it might be important. He says that we need to focus on getting out of here. Why's he so concerned about this. I feel like that's the only thing on his mind and every day he has to be so serious. So I say this is our island and until the grownups come this is a island for only us. Then a little kid comes up and says he's seen a... a........ a beastie. It could only have been a little trick. That's right it's just the imagination of one little kid. What harm can it do. What one little kid saw can't have anything bad to do with this island. I won't believe this kid this island is better than that. What were those guys thinking anyway, why would they try to bring or home down.





          I know, what about rescue. If we have a chance of being rescued then at least there's a chance we won't be bothered by that beastie or whatever that is,  and the only way to do that on an island full of trees is a fire. Hey guys if we're so concerned with the beastie why don't we build a fire. Just so's we're doing something else. That's when they lost it and I myself might have lost something too. FIRE, FIRE, LET'S BUILD A FIRE!!!.Without a thought everyone but me and piggy are off and I don't know what i've done but it's going to be fun. For now.