Chapter #4 blog

Chapter 4

So close yet so far away

          It's my third week on the island. Or is it my first? Everyday i'm here seems like an eternity. For all I know a second on the island is a year out in the real world. The real world. That's the main reason I'm really working on the huts. I need something to distract from the fact that I really don't know anything about anything in this messed up place. Things seem to have slowed down. Day after day the island slips into a rhythm. It feels like something meant for a place without humans. Every morning this small little world of our own is so peaceful. So free from the scars that we cause and the ones that we will come to cause. It makes you forget about reality until it all comes crashing back in with the tide. Soon after it's midday and there are odd things out at sea. Then the evening stalks in, tenacious on the last rays of sunlight. That's what completely destroys my control night after night When I was a littleun my parents took care of me. That's what parents do. No matter what they were there. At night and whenever I needed them. Every night the cries of the littleuns reach me. As the nights have melted away the cries come, sometimes I listen for them in anticipation of the pain accompanying each and every second. During the day I might have some control but at night I'm powerless. I try not to care but I feel like i'm the only one that hears them.


          Piggy's saying something about rescue. The fact that I'm not really paying attention brings a smile to my face and I mock him. I play with the guy a lot and he never seems to understand the game or understand how to go against me. He doesn't get it so I go over for a swim. Piggy's mention of rescue makes the water feel different, heavier and distant. That's when I saw the smoke just on the horizon. I was out of the pool and my heart beat like gunfire. Then Piggy asked if we had any smoke. Ralph had finally calmed down to his level headed self when fear crept into his mind. He was off towards the fire or what it was supposed to be. I was at the end of the scar when I realized I'd need piggy's specs if the fire was out. Should I run on or go get the specs. In my terror I began to run on. Then I was upon the fire and my worst fears were confirmed. The fire was completely out and disregarded. "Come back. Come back" I screamed at a sky clear of smoke. With the hate of a crushed future I prowled the beach with my eyes and soon I found them. A procession of boys so happy not realizing the sadness of their situation. As soon as Jack reached them the anger contained itself and he managed to get out what Jack had done. He told jack of the ship, all the while feeling barely managing to hide his pain. As I watched and participated in the aftermath of a great failure Jack hurt piggy. Huh piggy's pain compared to what we lost with the ship. As the full weight of what had happened crashed onto my shoulders I couldn't move, I could only watch and Jack abused piggy and broke his specs. It was utterly insane that I was the only one that truly understood besides piggy or simon. everyone else was caught up in the stupid Pig and that's exactly what it was. STUPID! I could barely say anything but light the fire and then I called for a meeting. What else could I do with a group of insane boys that only cared about their meat?